In the week leading up to Barristers' official OPENING, slated for Saturday October 28, an unsanctioned competition broke out amongst Westboro food critics, all vying for bragging rights to be the First to Review® Barristers. These unauthorized 'dispatches' are reprinted below, not because they count as reviews, but to illustrate the lengths that foodies in Westboro will go to, in search of glory and fame (and good food).
"yay! 1st to review!"
Dimples99: Heres the 1st riveiw of this place(excuse typos; am sending from smartphone outside Barristers its nighttime and fingers are FREEZING!!!):
In going through there recyling bin I see that Barristers's sommelier stocks good angular reds and crisp whites. Impressive, in a day and age when so many resterants serve $9 bottles of whatever and hope no one notices. They're beer selection, however, isn't as compelling, feturing bland European beers instead of nice, hoppy, craft beers from more local climes. Regarding the food that Barristers serves, its hard to judge (no pun intended) but based on a careful inspection of the empty containers in there blue box, they use good quality ingredients well before there Best Before date. Based on this, I'm going to suggest two stars (which is more than most of the other restaurants in Westboro get).
"ACTUAL first review"
BeanBasket: Review above shouldn't count because there's no mention of the kitchen or dining room (you can't judge a restaurant just by the exterior FFS), so THIS is the actual first review. (disclaimer: I couldn't actually get inside because hydrangea vines have grown over the front door completely blocking entry—which might explain why no one's been able to get into this place yet in 2017—but I was able to stand on a rain barrel and peer into a large window).
Barristers' kitchen is stylish and sleek and full of culinary gadgetry including a refrigerator (diners who worry about Zennnn's lack of a fridge will be thankful for that alone!). Dining room looks sophisticated and comfortable. I could have learned more but was interrupted by a barking dog from the restaurant next door and had to leave. Two-and-a-HALF stars!
"update"
Dimples99: Came by again today and saw that Barristers groundskeeper (looks a lot like Le Jardin's waiter to me) is starting to cut back the hydrangea vines that block entry to the front of the resterant—an indication, perhaps, that they are planning to allow a guest or two to attend there 2017 Official Opening this weekend.
On the night of Saturday October 28 (2017), Barristers hosted a 2017 Grand Opening dinner for ten eager customers. Read reviewer comments below:
"zombie make-up and sound effects, so realistic!"
BEatin'88: Maître d' opened door and wife and I got a fright—he was SO PALE and his voice was so low and gravelly we could barely make out what he said. Then when we got inside the restaurant and saw that a number of the customers looked and sounded just like him, we suddenly realized oh great, a Halloween zombie party and we forgot to dress up, oops. Anyway, the food was outstanding—perfectly-BBQd (Medium-Rare) steak served alongside buttery mushrooms, little potatoes and hermetically-sealed and steamed green vegetables. On this positive note I will conclude what I think everyone will have to concede is officially, incontrovertibly and undeniably (drum roll please)... the First Review® of Barristers. (bowing) Thank you.
"drank 2 much but NOT my fault"
UltimateMango: No complaints about Barristers' composed and attentive sommelier, who provided a jammy red that paired perfectly with the steaks. But surely one sommelier is enough. For some reason Zennnnn's grinning waiter was there all night as well, constantly appearing out of nowhere to refill my glass between sips. Awful hangover this morning!
"note to self: next time SIT to pee"
Digimmm: OK so I'm standing unsteadily in Barristers' washroom having a pee when I make the mistake of lifting my gaze and allowing my eyes to focus on the mirror in front of me. Not a good move. First off, I suddenly realize I'm naked (don't know why; I'm sure I arrived at the party fully-dressed). Second, my hair is way too long (but at least it's not as grey as I thought), but worst of all, I'm SO MUCH HEAVIER than I've ever been in my life. How did I gain this much weight when I have such small breakfasts and lunches!!! Anyway, then what do I do but go out and have a big piece of carrot cake for dessert—isn't going to help.
On a gloriously warm Saturday and Sunday, September 15-16, 2018, Barrister's hosted a weekend of meals and manual labour at its northern outpost, B'North, a magnificent new resort on the shores of Lac Achigan in Quebec. See reviews below—
"how to work up an appetite"
BEeatin'88: They certainly know how to make sure customers work up a healthy appetite here! A group of us arrived six hours early for our dinner reservation (the drive was faster than we thought) so the Barristers North staff, not sure what else to do with us I guess, sent us off to "do a few chores" at a nearby resort. All of us work in the restaurant industry so we were expecting to peel carrots and mash potatoes, but instead of peelers and mashers we were handed hammers and clippers and a chainsaw (!) and, under the watchful eye of the builder and chief groundskeeper of this place, put to work cutting, trimming and general sprucing-up. Then back to B'North for the evening's menu fixe: Reker i dill-saus (Shrimp in Dill Sauce), Chicken Marbella with Roasted Root Vegetables, Corn-Cob Quarters and a choice of three desserts!
"turning the tables at BNorth"
chokablok: Custom-made Spinning Apps Table here at B'North is wonderful in concept—it's circular and it rotates, so everyone seated around it can get a taste of everything. But what happens when two customers seated across from one another are both vying for the same app at the same time?!! An app-fight, that's what, with each diner trying to spin the table in different directions. Went from bad to worse when the customer who lost the app-fight turned out to be a sore loser and tried to get back by letting the diner across from him spin the table to the app he wanted but then at the last second spinning the food out of reach.
"customer tries to be helpful, almost throws out Barristers expensive cutlery"
foodpuppet: They say the customer is always right, but not this particular customer! I guess because he's a waiter himself (at the one-star Vive la bouffe LOL) he jumped up at the end of the meal—out of habit—to 'help' the waitstaff with the after-dinner clean-up. First thing he does is to try to put B'North's expensive black metal cutlery into the recycling bin.
Was told to go and sit down.
"went for dinner, stayed the night!"
coco_nut: Intended to head home after our dinner here at B'North, but our designated driver (who normally doesn't drink) went on a bit of a tequila spree so we ended up booking rooms and staying the night. Next morning more work at the nearby resort to work up an appetite for a rather sumptuous lunch. Then home... exhausted.
"Sonofa!"
rattlsn8: I tried to help out in the kitchen as well (B'North seemed to be short-staffed that evening), by washing dishes. Next day though, I notice that my wedding ring had turned from a shiny silver to a dull battleship grey! Wtf is in the water (or dish soap) at this place?!?!?
Somewhere between the hours of 10:30pm and midnight on Thursday, October 25, 2018, three 'pre-meal reviews' were posted concerning tomorrow night's invitation-only dinner at Barristers. See 'previews' below—
"First to review!"
JustSayin': To properly evaluate a meal, any good food critic will tell you, you need to start with a careful look at the ingredients that will be used. In going through the two blue bins that were left on the curb outside Barristers tonight (pick-up in Westboro is first thing tomorrow morning so there was no time to waste), I can tell you that—based on the empty jars and cans and containers that I carefully sorted through—tomorrow night's dinner will include capers (three bottles worth!), soft goat cheese (Kirkland brand) and, judging by the four empty styrofoam trays that smelled a bit fishy, a large number of trout or possibly salmon filets. There were also numerous empty blister packs that, judging by the dark staining on the absorbent pads stuck to the bottom, held blackberries, and an empty jar of applesauce. A used-up package of parchment paper was in the blue box as well (even though it should have been in the black box. Tsk, tsk).
Based on this, I feel safe in predicting that tomorrow night's meal will be Trout with Blackberries & Goat Cheese Baked in Parchment Paper, with a Side of Capers & Applesauce (although the applesauce jar might be from a meal eaten earlier in the week or even last week).
Please keep in mind, this is an early review—dinner isn't until tomorrow night. But it's based on careful empirical observation, so I'm fairly confident that what I've listed above will be tomorrow night's menu. Enjoy!
"close but no cigar"
Brokenhope'74: Sorry, JustSayin', but I went through the blue boxes too and, even though it was dark and I couldn't see very well and my fingers were cold, I found a few empty containers that you must have missed—crumpled wrappers indicating a selctiion of soft cheeses, an empty jar labelled Ed's Basic Barbecue Sauce and a styrofoam tray that I think must have held pork chops (not trout lol!). Given this, I'm predicting that tomorrow nights' menu will look like this: Pork Chops with Soft Cheese Drenched in Ed's Basic BBQ Sauce. Bon appétit everyone.
"more than just the food FFS!"
My2Cents: Yes, ingredients matter but you can't review a restaurant without giving customers a sense of ambience and atmosphere. A bit challenging to do, you might think, when the place is closed up tight, but by peering through the back deck windows I can assure tomorrow night's customers that the mood will be relaxed and elegant. Natural wood grains, soft leather and tasteful fabrics abound. The lighting in the dining room will be soft, featuring glass pumpkin-shaped candleholders that will add a haunting, seasonal touch (Halloween is almost upon us).
Next to the dining room is a spacious sitting room where patrons will no doubt gather after the meal, nursing glasses of Cointreau while making smalltalk until 9 o'clock, when the large clock above the fireplace will probably chime, reminding patrons to leave so that Barristers's staff will still have time to tune into Netflix.
Last but not least, sitting on a mahogany side table, is an enigmatic but magnificent-looking glass object d'art. No idea wtf that's all about.
The 1st annual 'Hammies' gala was held on the evening of Friday, October 26, 2018 at Barristers. See reviews below—
"first reviewers got it SO wrong!"
rattlsn8: So pathetic. Trout with Blackberries, with a side of Capers & Applesauce??? That's what JustSayin' said tonight's menu would feature, based on "empirical observation"of Barristers blue boxes last night. How ridiculous! And then BrokenHope'74, another overeager restaurant "previewer", got into the act claiming that the main would almost certainly be Pork Chops with Soft Cheese Drenched in Ed's Basic BBQ Sauce. Ummm, hello???
Dinner on Friday night, for those of us who gathered at Barristers, was ACTUALLY Ashley's Parchment Paper Salmon with Strips of Lemon Zest topped with Crispy Capers. There was a side of Oven-Roasted Vegetables and a cold salad of Asparagus with Goat Cheese. And it was all good. Very good. (I actually herd a few other restaurant owners muttering to one another that Barristers has now set the bar too high for everyone, especially those of us with comfortably low standards).
The dessert, btw, was Yogurt and Fruit Melange and delightful little French Pastries to celebrate the birthday of Le Jardin's Sous-chef.
"If I dont' have anything snarky to say am I still allowed to post a review?"
whatevR: Have reviewed many resterants on yelp and tripadvisor but this is my first time on foodhippo (so excited!) but I'm wondering about the protocol here. Should I post a review of last night's meal if I don't have anything to criticize? For one, it's hard to write something favourable (it always comes across as ingratiating, you know what I mean?), and two, it's hard (i.e. annoying) to read something favourable. So shall I just skip reviewing last nite's meal? Or post anyway? (dinner was delicious, which is the problem).
"(sigh). Next time do a search"
Sweaterpants: WhatevR, if you'd done a simple search in the search field on the hippo homepage you'd have been taken here, where ChupChupa discusses this very question. To sum up for those to lazy to hit the search button: If you can't find anything bad to say about a place, don't say anything at all. But how thorough have you been? Were the capers, just to give you an example, a little bit too crispy maybe? Or... not crispy enough? You see where I'm going with this. You're going left-side of your brain when you need to go right-side (impetuous, impulsive, temperamental—the hallmarks of a good modern-day restaurant reviewer).
"his Sally Field moment. And he blew it"
fiftyfiftyfella: If a Hammy is handed out for acting, dude should have been awarded a second one right then and there for his very believeable portrayal of a babbling idiot. His 'acceptance speech' made no sense at all, just served to make the audience uncomfortable LOL. Thank god the big clock above the mantel chimed indicating it was time to go (people were already getting there coats on 'cause it looked like this guy wasn't going to shut up).
Just realized—theirs your review right there, WhatvR: 'great food but questionable Awards Ceremony' (u wanted something to complain about). The thing is, though... I just wrote and posted the review so 2 f#@*^ing bad!